Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Im part way to drunk.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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