I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize