On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
