So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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