i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize