Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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