It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
