Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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