Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
