I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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