i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
