We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
