I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
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i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here