We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
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I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
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this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.