I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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