Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
