it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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