AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize