i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
