i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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