her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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