so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
