her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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