her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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