what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
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The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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