I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
