at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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