You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
