There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize
