Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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