I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
