Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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