I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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