im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
