"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
