I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
