At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
