we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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