just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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