So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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