Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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