It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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