Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize