Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
