Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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