Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
