That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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