you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
