I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
