im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
