Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
