that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
