I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
