Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
the liver wants what the liver wants
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
