Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
