This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
