no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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