ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
