I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
so much tequila, so little girl.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
