The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
