At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
