So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
