3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
