I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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