I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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