my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
