your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
