I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
