3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
actually, I'm a sock model
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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